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When I was 12 I made a time capsule. (I lived on a farm and spent many a long, boring hour thinking about the future, when I wasn’t rocking out to Hanson and cutting out pictures of the Spice Girls from TV Hits magazine). The big plan was to reveal it when I reached the far away, imaginary age of 21.

My 12 year old self, possibly decked out in my favourite 1997 outfit of black baggy tencel overalls (yes, tencel… don’t judge, you were probably wearing it too) and aqua Piping Hot oversized t-shirt, thought that by16 I would be pretty much grown up. By 21, I would surely know all there was to know about the world.

I have a hazy recognition of tucking an assortment of symbolic items into a cardboard Nike shoebox, wondering what life would be like then.

My high school diary, scribbled with notes from new found friends, bragging about how a boy smiled at us on the train (A boy! A real life boy! Needless to say, I went to a girl’s school…) My journal, purchased by my parents on a day trip to the beach, where I wrote riveting accounts about what I ate for lunch and how I had bought some new stickers for my collection. A copy of Dolly magazine = my 12 year old self’s Bible. Considered contraband in my household in my early teens, I used to sneakily buy it after school because life wouldn’t be worth living if I didn’t know the latest entertaining issues covered by Dolly Doctor. (Does anybody else remember the infamous letter about the chick with the Barbie dolls and interesting urges??!!) A Yo-Yo. Photos of my good self sporting some ridiculously oversized headbands (what’s changed?)

Hidden inside the box under a cover of crunchy pink tissue, much to my mortification/fascination/curiosity I found a cassette tape that I had recorded of my favourite songs (‘MmmBop’ anyone? Appreciate it, I probably spent a good 30 minutes next to the radio listening to the Hot 30 Countdown, poised to pounce on record to get that). I also felt the need to discuss my life.

12 year old self predicted that by my early twenties, I may have achieved the following:

Moved out (Ba bow!) Been to Uni (Check). Moved away from the farm (Check). Travelled to Sydney (Check. Dream big Laura!) Gotten married (Again, ba bow!) Had kids (Hahaha. No.) Be working as a vet (I think I failed to recognise that I pretty much can’t do Maths). I also predicted that in the future, I might have a flying car (I think I watched a little too much of ‘The Jetsons’), I would probably use a machine to listen to music rather then listen to CDs (Bingo! How come I’m not working for Apple?)

Life at 12 was simple in a way, but much more complicated then life now. I spent a lot of time reading magazines in my room, writing letters to my friends, daydreaming about marrying Zac Hanson and praying that one day I would be as cool as some of the girls at school, who flounced around in curvy bodies,  blonde highlights and black tattoo look necklaces.

And I would definitely reach Sydney.

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Ever since I was little, I have been told. Be independent. Make sure you are financially responsible. You are just as good and deserving as the next person. Work hard and you will reap the rewards.

I listened to my parents. I worked hard. I got a job which let me be in charge, if only of a small number of small people. I learned to get the things I wanted by doing the right thing, being nice to people and as a result, (in the words of the great philosopher Destiny’s Child) I depend on me.

This has always seemed like a fabulous idea. The only way to go. Until recently.

I have reached my happy place, where I have friends who are like my family, a job I love and exciting possibilities ahead. I have been going out with boys, having fun and I have just experienced a revelation. I am so used to being on my own, for setting myself up and focussing on me, that when I am not in control of where things are heading, my head screams “Run! You’re independent! Remember?!!”

I don’t want to lose my independence. I love the fact that I’m not scared of removing spiders from the house, that I earn enough to get by, that I have the confidence to attend a party alone. I also don’t want my independence to prevent me from taking risks and having happiness in the future. I’ve had many a conversation with my single friends about this topic and they feel the same way. I saw ‘The Ugly Truth’ today and it seems Katherine Heigl’s character also felt the same way.

So now, since I do depend on me, it’s up to me to make sure I don’t hold myself back with my own efforts to be fabulous. I will try to go out on a limb, to take the risk, to stand up straight, have pretty hair and let someone else open the door for a change.

Whenever we are bored, my friends and I discuss what our lives would be like if we were celebrities.

In this game, we do our normal jobs, live in our normal homes and hang with our usual crew, however we are world famous. (We make the rules, because you can do that in your own games, although the whole notion is kind of weird since we wouldn’t have any reason to be famous if we did what we do now, but that’s beside the point).

I like to think that in my own fame game, I would be less trashbag Lilo famous and more cool, down to earth but none-the-less A-List famous (I’m thinking Natalie Portman/Reese Witherspoon etc).

I do love my hair like this...

I’d be pretty busy, what with my regular appearances on late night chat shows, guest editorials with Vogue and partying it up with Hugh Jackman and my fellow home-town girl Cate Blanchett, but I’d still make time to do some regular jaunts down to the beach with my friends. Of course, it would be hard to escape the paps down there.             What would the headlines make of random dodgy hook-ups at the Conti nightclub or days spent crusing in convertables with my friend’s boyfriends? My addiction to beachside home made gelati might spark crash diet rumours and my escapades dancing under the influence would ensure that Who & New Weekly would have me in rehab before Winter is out.

Perhaps my 2010 plans to flee the country and chase, haphazardly and crazily, after my dreams may be seen as a ‘BIG RISK’ (and some people I know see it). They would probably think I was running away from my troubles (which I’m not. As  Uncle Remus says in ‘Song of the South’, “You can’t run away from your troubles. There ain’t nowhere that far”). Or maybe just that I was a girl in search of more bits of the world.

Would the stuff I do for charities be seen as awesome? Giving back is the new black’ etc. (I once used this as a pick up line at a Charity ball…It worked, much to my amusement. Although we were both wasted…)

The perks would be many (free clothes, goodie bags, dinners with Oprah, tickets to premiere events, my own range of gluten free yet edible pastries). Although I guess I should be thankful that in real life, no one important is going to judge me when I am vicariously copying the style of a celeb or talking to my little fish bottle of soy sauce when it threatens to fall on my sushi. But it’s still fun to think about.

Plus, my best friend TOTALLY is the spitting image of Drew Barrymore. So I’m basically famous already.

xx

Days of My Life

December 2017
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...and it got me thunking... A dip platter is my idea of a perfect meal beach Beyonce` would know Bill Cosby was right and kids do say the darndest things birthday girl bloggers bloggers who rock boys with black nail polish are the sex bushfires champagne child of the 80s chocolate Christmas cupcakes make the world go round dancing to cheesy songs could end war forever david jones dogs are some of the best people i know dreaming family fashion fashion thrills me forwards free friends morph into family frogs Gen Y gluten Gossip Girl XOXO half a letter and half a list Hamish Blake gives me a lift on my ride home Hard to believe but sometimes we are even cooler then Carrie Bradshaw headbands are what dreams are made of Heels equal power honest I'm actually 15 i'm bored therefore i blog i'm such a girl i adore kids books I am you are we are Australian I can't remember as I was a bit smashed i love HK and all its mango drinks i really hope you don't know me i still believe in Santa i wish i spoke in amazing quotations I would have a Diet Coke IV if i could jokes just a moment life long love Lilo Lily Allen Melbourne Miley Cyrus miranda kerr my friends are the best friends once upon a time i loved Hanson parents are intesting sometimes read my brain sad but true sometime i think little kids are smarter then me Spice Girls Spring has sprung Summer Sunday Taylor Swift teaching this show is my life travel unrealistic is more realistic we're all dying too weekends when I'm bored I'm crazy when will i will i be famous? Winter yes i rock singstar

Stuff I Wrote