Ever since I was little, I have been told. Be independent. Make sure you are financially responsible. You are just as good and deserving as the next person. Work hard and you will reap the rewards.

I listened to my parents. I worked hard. I got a job which let me be in charge, if only of a small number of small people. I learned to get the things I wanted by doing the right thing, being nice to people and as a result, (in the words of the great philosopher Destiny’s Child) I depend on me.

This has always seemed like a fabulous idea. The only way to go. Until recently.

I have reached my happy place, where I have friends who are like my family, a job I love and exciting possibilities ahead. I have been going out with boys, having fun and I have just experienced a revelation. I am so used to being on my own, for setting myself up and focussing on me, that when I am not in control of where things are heading, my head screams “Run! You’re independent! Remember?!!”

I don’t want to lose my independence. I love the fact that I’m not scared of removing spiders from the house, that I earn enough to get by, that I have the confidence to attend a party alone. I also don’t want my independence to prevent me from taking risks and having happiness in the future. I’ve had many a conversation with my single friends about this topic and they feel the same way. I saw ‘The Ugly Truth’ today and it seems Katherine Heigl’s character also felt the same way.

So now, since I do depend on me, it’s up to me to make sure I don’t hold myself back with my own efforts to be fabulous. I will try to go out on a limb, to take the risk, to stand up straight, have pretty hair and let someone else open the door for a change.

Advertisements